Accepting that they are gone

It would be easy to assume that because you are here, reading this guide, that you have accepted that your Owner has released or abandoned you and that in that role they are gone……but you and I both know that isn’t necessarily the case….don’t we?

The very first stage of your journey will be accepting the reality of your situation.

When an Owner unexpectedly disappears (which can often happen if your relationship is online), many submissives will wait an extraordinary length of time for their Owner to return.  You may feel that it is your place to wait and that you would be disloyal to your Owner to accept them as gone for good.  You may feel that it would be disobedient to assume for your Owner that they are not coming back.

Whatever the circumstances of your release or abandonment, you may just not want to believe, that after everything that you had been through with your Owner, the things that you shared, the closeness, the intimacy, the trust that you had in each other….you can not believe that you have been left alone and lost in this way.

I have heard many ask the question “how long should I wait?”

Only you know the answer to that question.  Be realistic with yourself.

You must accept that they are gone if you are to proceed with your journey.  That doesn’t mean you can’t make a start with this guide and the tasks therein – but – be aware that accepting the reality of your loss is a very important early stage in the journey.  You can’t avoid it and hope it will go away but as you work through this guide you may start to find the strength to accept the reality that they are no longer your Owner and they will not return to being that again.

Even if you will still see your previous Owner because you both belong to the same communities or groups, if you have been released they are no longer your Owner.  In that role they are gone.