It is time to let go of the past. You will not be forgetting it and you will always carry the lessons from your previous submission/relationship. But now it is time to say goodbye. You can only do this task effectively when you are ready – do it too early and it wont work. When you are ready to start living your life again – this is your starting point.
Write a letter to your previous Owner. Don’t worry you will never send it to them – in fact it is generally important that you do not.
What to write:
Tell them what you loved about them as a person and as your Owner;
Tell them what you didn’t love about them, the things that annoyed you, hurt you or you just didn’t admire in them;
Thank them for the things that they taught you;
Forgive them for the things that they did that hurt you in any way or had a negative impact upon you;
Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what happened, their actions, or that you are releasing them from their responsibility in what has happened.
By forgiving someone you are not releasing them from anything….you are releasing yourself.
Forgiving someone is more about saying…I don’t want to be affected by you anymore and I am choosing to release myself from the negative feelings and emotions that I have been feeling towards you.
Forgive them and they will no longer have any control over you – they can no longer hurt you from inside. Let it go….you do not need to feel negative about them or yourself anymore.
Tell them that whilst you will always remember them you need to let them go now;
Tell them goodbye.
What to do with your letter?
Find a quiet moment. Set aside some time for this task – where you will have no interruptions. Sit somewhere comfortable and quiet. If you like you might want to light some candles or put on some favourite soft music – whatever helps you to feel relaxed and comfortable. Then – read your letter out loud as if you are reading it to your previous Owner. If it helps (it may not) have a picture of them near to help you focus. You may find that you want to cry….that is ok….cry. You may find that you feel elated…light…like the weight is lifting. After you have read your letter put it away somewhere. As a symbolic gesture you may wish to burn it (safely) or tear it up but this is not necessary and you may wish to tuck it away safely somewhere. Being able to refer back to it might help to remind you that you were strong enough to let go.
Alternatively, you may find it helpful to read the letter out loud to a friend, mentor or guide. This can be helpful too. Do what feels most right for you.
After you have read out your letter and put it away or disposed of it. Get up and go do something. Go outside. If the sun is shining let it shine on your face and feel the warmth. Go shopping if that is what you like. Take a shower. Bake a cake. Just do something.